Reflections on My Three Undergraduate Years
Written on 2024/09/24.
Surveying my planned agenda, I listed three items side by side: “CTF challenge replays,” “research exploration,” and “project development.” All three stood equal, yet my mind was restless, unable to decide where to begin.
After much agonizing thought, I suddenly recalled my application for automatic recommendation to grad school and reflected on my more-than-three-year journey as an undergrad. Resolving to gather my focus, I sat upright, determined to record it all on this blog—for peers to enjoy and for my own self-awakening.
Year One
Freshman year began. With some development skills and a knack for gaming, I felt proud—my focus was on graduating and finding a job, so I neglected my studies. During the summer break, I was carefree, spending nights and days with my computer. My roommates had a different schedule, so while we seemed harmonious, tensions ran beneath the surface. I privately lamented their poor use of late-night hours; they complained about my screen’s glare disturbing their sleep. Despite many discussions, no solution emerged.
Apologies for my poor classical style. Writing in archaic Chinese is too laborious, so I’ll stick to plain language from here on. xD
Looking back, there were many ways to resolve this, but for some reason neither side took them.
I belong to the “most productive at night” camp. As someone who, since middle school, has only gone to bed after midnight, switching to a 11 PM lights-out schedule was not appealing. To me, early sleep = wasted life (since I wouldn’t wake early anyway xD).
Yet I often gamed after 11 PM: the mechanical keyboard’s clicks, rapid screen flickers in games, and wearing headphones I couldn’t control my voice volume... Even typing now, I can imagine how my roommates slept restlessly. Truth be told, those 1–2 rounds of late-night gaming didn’t harm my skill, but they certainly impacted my roommates’ sleep quality.
As for coding, it was an inevitable nocturnal activity for me. The only mitigation was to improve my environment: use quieter mouse and keyboard, or install a bed curtain (which I only did in 2024!) or get earplugs or an eye mask. The roommate in the lower bunk—now a late sleeper because of my light pollution—had light sleep, easily awakened by environmental factors. My thought was: if we can’t reconcile our needs, why not optimize my own setup with a bed canopy or earplugs? (Honestly, I still wonder why this wasn’t done sooner.)
We ended up complementing each other.
I recall pulling an all-nighter for the TSCTF-J challenge. I clearly remember getting into bed just as my roommate got out—another roommate half-awake witnessed this historical moment. This event is forever known as “The Great Bed War”.
Looking back, freshman year was hard to evaluate: I failed in relationships, academics, and personal skills.
From the start, I planned to seek employment upon graduation, so I paid no mind to my GPA. I must mention Calculus A (Part 1). A classmate, overconfident because we reviewed derivatives in high school, slacked off during online lectures and barely did homework. By midterms he couldn’t follow. His midterm score was 18 on the first page and 19 overall. Luckily, thanks to excellent instruction, he eventually scored 65 in this 5-credit course.
Because of this, I avoided applying to schools requiring written exams—like Nanjing University or SJTU master’s programs—fearing my weak math foundation.
Oddly, I adapted quickly to Linear Algebra, so my transcript later showed a curious scene (though now I’ve forgotten most of it):
During the second semester’s online courses, I alternated between sleeping at my desk with the computer on and napping with my phone streaming lectures. By finals, I rarely attended sessions at all, preferring to sleep. I also watched classmates’ webcam feeds, witnessing many amusing moments—true confirmation of the professor’s claim: everyone’s unique.
In the end, I ranked around 40%—the price of neglecting calculus.
Freshman year also sparked my CTF interest. Thanks to years of web-surfing experience, I excelled at gathering information and scriptwriting. In the TSCTF-J newbie contest, my all-nighter paid off: I finished far ahead of others, claiming first place.
At recruitment, seniors exclaimed, “A new god arrives!” But I dived into PWN with zero OS or C background. I didn’t grasp why overwriting ebp+4 could change return addresses—I just mimicked others’ write-ups. Without fundamentals, progress was slow. I even grew fearful of PWN. My blog shows how my PWN posts in Dec 2021 and Mar 2022 were just guesswork copied from others’ notes.
The nickname “Nova God” was fleeting—I stayed on the team only by spamming the chat (lol).
Not until 2024 did I realize those concepts had sunk in, and I began filling the gaps. But by then juniors had long surpassed me.
On the development front, I wrote plenty of scripts but no projects. Freshman year gave me a shallow intro to C; I never learned other languages.
My clearest memory of freshman year was New Year’s Eve 2021. I borrowed a camera from a high school friend, rented a lens on Alipay, and invested over a thousand yuan to solo-capture the Milky Way at nearly –10°C in Miyun.
My photography skills were awful—I’d never used a camera—so the results were terrible. My time-lapse star trails were invisible. Thankfully, smartphone algorithms helped improve the shots.
The verdict: nice to view from afar, not to play with up close.
This was dangerous—don’t try it yourselves. Despite wearing a down jacket and bringing heat packs, the cold still caused hypothermia. My taxi arrived at 6 AM; by then I felt like a mummy.
Fortunately, it wasn’t a secret spot, and New Year’s Eve drew many enthusiasts, including middle schoolers under teacher supervision. With their help, on Jan 1, 2022, I rode in a pickup’s bed, braving the cold to watch the stars before a kind driver took me to lodging.
Year Two
For some reason, Year Two feels hazy—few highlights come to mind. Luckily, I’ve written about it before, so I’ll quote directly.
The following text is from my deleted mid-2023 summary. Many details have since changed and may no longer be timely. For consistency, I’ve edited some expressions but preserved the original meaning. Some passages might make current me blush.
In Year Two, I discovered a Bilibili creator—Linksphotograph. His videos touched my soul deeply, sometimes bringing me to tears. I’ve never been an emotional person, let alone someone who loved scenery. In childhood, my parents often took me on trips with friends. My childhood friend and I hated it: "What’s so special about the Leshan Buddha?" "Why visit Jiuzhaigou waterfalls?" I resisted taking photos or letting the camera record any moments—travel sparked arguments with my parents. Was it rebellion, or my innate desire to be forgotten?
I found no selfies or group photos before 2019—only the few lines above. It felt sad.
Then I discovered Links’s videos. Like a black-and-white photo coming to life, the scent of grass and birdsong flowed through me, tracing a rainbow upon my cheeks. I don’t know why his scenery moved me, but it sparked my rebirth.
I began considering studying abroad.
Influenced by Japanese anime culture, I longed for student life in Japan—my sole target. Yet Japan’s IT industry wasn’t booming; infosec felt like a dead end there, with high pressure and low pay. Still, Japan remained my top choice for grad school.
I also considered NUS, NTU, and HKUST (the “New 2 + Hong Kong 3”). Non-Asian universities weren’t in my plans—no desire, plus financial burden.
But freshman year wasted saw Year Two become intense. Academics first: failing to meet GPA baselines meant no prospects; I had no research output or competition achievements (I didn’t even know where to find research). Language: English was okay for CET-6, but Japanese was just the kana stage. Goals set in a fleeting moment proved not easily reached.
In the first semester of Year Two, I buckled down (partly because of more major courses) and improved my social interactions. CTF juniors were so strong that I felt pressure, but I gradually got on track. I began documenting my life as well—made many short videos, though they lacked content.
I can’t recall exactly when I decided to study abroad—if I remember correctly, browsing the BYR forums showed NUS admission average at 88 GPA. My Year One average was 86, so just a 2-point gap. That sparked the thought: if I bridged it, maybe I could study abroad, land a high-paying job, needing only to push my GPA and do a one-year research master.
Raising my average by 2 points meant scoring 90+ consistently—not easy, but I underestimated that.
With that, I abandoned my undergrad job plans, found a senior in network security on the forums, and got guidance on planning my bachelor’s studies.
But I didn’t aggressively compete—I did assignments diligently and studied for finals in quiet spots like cafes. Maybe because of more major courses, my Year Two GPA reached 91.7—quite high.
Seeing the transcript, I realized I finally met the baseline.
My favorite class, Computer Networks, I scored a 76… haha. Beijing University of Posts and Telecom shattered my network dreams.
I looked for traces of 2022, but with online classes and returning to campus, I have little memory of that year—no photos or blog posts. It confirms that only after 2023 did I consciously record my life. So, let’s fast-forward over 2022 to the memorable second half of 2023—my turning point.
My only blog post in 2022: A Nighttime Stroll on the Playground
Since most readers won’t follow my blog constantly, I’ll quote passages from other articles, preserving intent but editing for consistency.
In April, hzao shared an NUS Summer Workshop: pay tens of thousands to attend summer school at NUS; exceptional performance could secure NGNE (3.5 + 0.5 + 1)—studying one semester at NUS in senior year and a year of NUS master’s.
If you’re in security and interested in NGNE, I recommend against it. NGNE is tailored for top CS students, with project fees reimbursed. At SCU, it’s fully covered; at BUPT CS, partial funding; in security, nothing is covered.
2024/10/04 Thanks to @junyu for clarifying: SCU CS selection covers full fees; security programs reimburse based on grades. :::
This Content is generated by LLM and might be wrong / incomplete, refer to Chinese version if you find something wrong.